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Oh the Loyal One
Starting to Feel Extremely Hopeless 
28th-Jan-2013 11:35 pm
It's almost the end of the first month of the new year.

I'm not normally a very negative person. I like to be extremely optimistic, but I've been in a downward slump since the end of October.

I finished my contract with Cedar Point and immediately went searching for employment. I have received no calls or letters pertaining to ANY of the positions for which I applied. It's starting to really get to me. I know that the economy still isn't that great, but I see people who are less skilled being hired - even in retail - over me. Most of those hired seem to be high schoolers or just out of high school with no experience. It's extremely frustrating.

I find myself being very listless. It's difficult to concentrate on anything, including art.

I forced myself to finish my Nurse Lindsay cosplay, including a cat friend. For those not in the know, Ohayocon's mascot is Nurse Lindsay and she's often seen with a cat companion. I made my cousin a skirt for her Pinkie Pie cosplay. Thankfully, she purchased the fabric and sat with me the entire time. I was only really able to focus because she was there.

I felt needed during Ohayocon. I feel that being on staff gave me purpose. It's not a paid position, but I really needed someone to rely on me.

Now back home for a week since Ohayocon. Still putting out applications. Starting to feel hopeless.

I was given an ultimatum when my contract was finished with Cedar Point. I needed to be employed and paying rent by the first of February or I was to be evicted. It is now the twenty-eighth of January. I have no options.

I've started selling my collections. Movies, manga, comics, books, figures, dolls. It's just stuff, but it's my stuff. Stuff I've collected. Stuff I still read and watch and like. It makes me want to cry, but I will carry on.

It was suggested that I start doing commissions. I do not know how. I have no portfolio as most of my work doesn't get finished. I am uncomfortable with anything but pencils, colored pencils and charcoal. I don't know other traditional artistic media. I'm terrible at digital media. I can sew, but even that is just growing knowledge and the use of a serger.

So... Hopeless. Yes, ma'am, that's me.
Inu-yasha stars
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